…Once again, you may want to insert some ear bobs and close the door. In case you feel like dancin’ like no one’s watching. And I apologize in advance for the annoying YouTube ads. It’ll be worth it. Especially when you get down to “Zee Dubs”…but first,
“O.k, so after the war, my father sat himself down in front of the tv with a Reingold beer and just plugged himself into Yankees games.”
At the time, I didn’t totally understand what my teaching mentor was trying to say. Many years later, I’m starting to understand.
With the holiday season, family visitations, and varied sicknesses waning, it’s time for me to figure something out here.
Walking Around the Writer’s Block
It is said that all writing is revision. Anyone up (or is it “down”)for a watching paint dry sesh? Yeah. Thought so. Me neither.
For those so inclined, I can assure you that this (good, bad, and indifferent) is not the result of a one day’s/night’s efforts. It’s many miles of walking, podcast listening, musical musings, and reflective ponderings later which end up looking like this.
I’ve always been interested in the processes involved in creative endeavors. It’s what I think about when listening to any Apples & Ginos Podcast episode. When do these boys do their collective things? Where are the kids? Spouses? What corners of the homes do they have to retreat to to make it happen? (hum. Three “to’s in a row. Nice).
And all the other in betweens.
For me, it’s probably a bit less entangled.
Having grown children allows me a bit more space and time. Nonetheless, the mental exercises involved and the logistics to overcome have always held a special fascination.
And it’s the coming out of the other side that makes it worth the time and effort.
Scylla and Charybdis
…Sting may have been on to something when he penned:
You consider me the young apprentice
Caught between the Scylla and Charybdis
To start, Roman Josi is now -24. C’mon Ro. What are we doing here?
Readers of these pages know that for some time I’ve sort of semi-extolled the virtues of playing in a league that counts plus/minus. Realizing that that puts me in the minority reminds me of one of the many things Groucho Marx (look him up kids…Yeah, he’s that guy.) is remembered for saying; and I’m paraphrasing: “I wouldn’t want to belong to a club that would have me as a member.”
The plus/minus statistic gives me a feel for one of two things when it comes to my fantasy hockey decisions.
First, does this guy play any D? And second, how rotten is his team. Now what I do with that information is up for debate. It usually depends on whether or not I can get a response from one of my panic-stricken Discord pleadings.
Either way, while it complicates things for sure, I like having it because like most wannabe hockey players, runners, wrestlers, teachers, and or humans, I have this thing for self-inflicted pain and suffering.
Nonetheless, Josi is my Timo Meier for this year.
I remember howling into the night last year about Timo’s -27 (at one point), so this year it’s Josi’s turn. And like Timo, I’ve rostered Ro for years and he’s one of my staples. But enough’s enough!
Look, I’m not dropping Josi.
No way…
…(I think).
To be not so sure of anything, he’s been a different player depending on the type of league you’re in. In my one Listener League (no plus minus), he’s currently ranked 75ish. Not exactly what I signed up for, but I can live with it if that’s the low end. In the other league (with plus minus), he’s 145ish. That’s brutal. At his current pace, he’s going to have to go on a rest of the season heater to recoup those minuses. In a plus minus league, to me he’s the defenseman equivalent of Bryan Rust. In other words, you better strap in folks. Love them both, believe in the talent (with a wink and nod to Nate), but…
…what do we do?
To coin a phrase, “we are who we thought we were.” He’s still one of the top defensemen in real life and fantasy so we’ll just have to lower our (you can finish the sentence…).
Between a Rock and Hard Place
…if this works or is working, I’m hoping for a pattern to develop here.
Since we’ve last spoken (actually, since the last time I’ve written), I attended an actual hockey game. Imagine that?!
Ya.
Spent a Saturday two weeks ago at The Rock with my grown kids for a Devils game against the Blackhawks.
First, the Devils won.
Second, Timo, Jack, Jesper, and Dawson’s Creek all scored (I think I’m remembering correctly…).
And third, I got to communicate with Blake and Nate pre, during, and after the game.
To think that I could be sitting inside The Rock (and afterward while trying to find the garage where I parked amongst the Devils denizens on the streets of Newark, NJ) while texting these two Beauty School Graduates about my little slice of my pie (yeah, we call it pie) was the G for me.
Going Off
…“Ladies and gentlemen, please return your snack trays back to an upright position and fasten your seatbelts. The Professor is taking this bad boy deep. “
Brett Howden- What time is it? Your great grandparents might know. Might. All I know is that he literally won a matchup for me last week.
Anders Lee- Mon Capitan. First Team All-Not-So-Sneaky-Sneaky-Good-All-Year Team.
Jake DeBrusk- Feel De burn, because De pump is always out there.
Rasmus Dahlin- Holly Dahlly. This one’s personal. A special shout out to that other Mike. Here’s to you my man. With thumbs up. Always brother.
Nikolaj Ehlers- Get the pronunciation right please.
Tyler Toffoli- See Lee above. But take the cannoli.
Tage Thompson- Been a fan of drum lines since my college days so I’ll let the University of Louisiana-Lafayette Ragin Cagins tell this one. It’s all the Rage.
Mackenzie Blackwood- A one time Devil now Two (Timo) Timin’ me. (See, it’s not all old school rhythm and blues folks. Professor can mix it up too).
Valeri Nichuskin- Looks like Daddy’s Come Around. May as well keep the hat on. Sorta looks like him too, right? (…Uh excuse me, Professor…. Professor!…Shhhhhh. Can’t you see that I’m busy here….What?… Wait, he’s what?…Hurt? Are you kidding me?! I am NOT editing this in post!)
and now for the coup de gras…Buckle up Blake. You’re gonna dig this one…
Zach Werenski- Zee Dubs with the Rerun shout out. What’s Happenin? This is so me on a night when Werenski is getting off doing the thing. C’mon! Get up. Let’s do this…And yes indeed, that is Irene Cara (you can look her up too) with the yellow flower in her hair.
Lions, and Tigers, and Bears, oh my!
Let’s take a stroll. To reflect.
On the way home.
While many readers of these words may be more adept at multitasking, leveling up, and earning skins on Call of Duty 9: Magenta Ops or whatever you young wippersnappers are playing nowadays, there will come a time when you catch up to me.
By then though, I’ll be too far ahead.
Nonetheless, as I think of the three leagues I currently play in, two are of the more competitive types, i.e, A&G Listener Leagues 4 and 6, while the other is a way more casual “home league.”
I’m grateful for the mix.
My life is out of balance enough to only be competing against the best, brightest, youngest, and smartest. And no, that’s not a passive aggressive pull on the shade either. The folks traipsing around in these Listener Leagues are shredded beasts. It’s exhausting.
I mean, I’m up deep into Sunday nights, agonizing over that last streamer option and keeping my fingers crossed, phone in hand, while out walking the dog around the corners of my neighborhood under cover of darkness.
For what?
A late game hit or two from Noah Cates? Just to see if I hang on to that one or two point edge? My goodness the margins are so thin.
And then I switch over to my home league where I’m either comfortably ahead or long gone out of it.
…I’m on my way Auntie Em…
Steely Resolve
Let’s let a Jersey rooted lyricist put a bow on this one:
We’re gonna break out the hats and hooters
We’re gonna rev up the motor scooters
We’re gonna park in the street
For those of you who took the shot, run him (them) out. As a metaphor. Not just for today, but for the rest of the season…
Thanks for reading,
The Fantasy Hockey Professor
Apples and Ginos 